Blocking ☠

Admin

06/9/2016 13:30

This thread has gone beyond the point where it can hope to be a productive discussion again. I ask you all to move on and play nice.

– Admin

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mochablk (23)

05/9/2016 18:19

This whole discussion is a stark indication of what is wrong in the world today. With technology these days, it's easy to (as I said before) hide behind your send button and not even give them the courtesy of SAYING "I'm not interested." Oh well...that's your prerogative and your right. If I'm considered a "stalker", then trust me, I won't bother you. It just sounds like a cop out and an attitudinal issue.

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 19:56

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It's an indication of what's wrong, but what's wrong is out of control narcissism and entitlement. When someone endlessly complains about someone blocked them, what they are really saying is "What gives you the right to prevent me from unlimited free access to MY porn... just because you are the subject matter?"

There are over SEVEN THOUSAND profiles on this site and plenty of other sites. That's more than enough "fantasy material" for anyone, but yet some people need to carry on for months or years on end about the small handful of guys who don't want to be hassled by them. It's their own narcissism that tells them this is some huge injustice that must be voiced and it's the OTHER person that has the problem. (and if it's more than a small handful, then that says a lot about them).

No one is "owed" or "entitled" to a response of any kind. Yeah, if someone is reasonable and polite and there is a minor logistical problem I will let them know, but most of the people I just don't bother responding to are ones who don't remotely fit what I am looking for in my profile who say something rude, creepy or dumb... but feel they are entitled to something. If someone just ignores or disrespects your preferences from the jump they aren't owed a warm welcome just because they feel they're special and entitled to be the exception.

It's not like the people who insist they are owed a response ever accept that response if it's not the one they want (and ignoring someone 20+ times IS a very clear response, even if they don't want to take it). They just argue and debate, call names, hurl insults and throw tantrums. Who wants to even open the door to deal with that? They going to bitch because they didn't get their way whether you talk to them or not, so why waste your time dealing with 12 rounds of their hissy fit?

Most of the response people get is based on how, when or if they approach someone. This idea they are always owed a response just plays into their sense of entitlement. If someone ignores your preferences and still feels they are owed a response, then they likely also feel they are owed the response they want and will cry foul if they don't get that as well.

People just need to learn when to grow up and move on with their lives. Accept that not everyone is going to be into them regardless of what they want and how they feel about it and deal with it. Not try and turn being a pushy creep that can't take a hint into some Constitutional right that's being unfairly stripped from them.

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Kevin93 (14)

05/9/2016 21:09

(em resposta à...)

speaking of growing up. What I read from who is what is wrong with everyone else, and apparently you are right. I mean seems like you have to have the last word. I mean honestly who cares. We all have opinion's.

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ChiFight (6)

06/9/2016 12:35

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When someone says "no thanks", "not interested" or doesn't respond to messages I leave them alone and go on with my life. That is mature and reasonable.

I don't need to punish them or get revenge on them, call them names, bad mouth them, attempt to ruin their reputation with other people, incessantly whine about or message then 40 more times trying to force some verbal answer (that I think I am owed) out of them as if someone ignoring them 50+ times isn't already answer enough.... or the answer would be anything other than "not interested."

What you are doing is called "projection". The problem is these people who can't handle rejection without declaring there is something wrong with the person who rejected them. In the minds of the stalkers they need to be called a name, they need to be insulted, their reputation must be ruined so no one else ever messages them (as if that ever works), because how dare they turn down high and mighty ME! There MUST be something wrong with THEM! Because we all know I could do no wrong! That's how narcissism works.

One good way to tell what kind of person you are dealing with... if they can respect your wishes and they don't harass you because they wouldn't want someone doing that to them...that's a decent person.

If you have someone who needs to justify their pushy, obsessive, stalker behavior... announce what they are owed (and the flaws with anyone who doesn't give it to them), carries on like a spoiled child months after the fact... and needs to not only see someone validating their own position get the "last word" in or needs to vilify anyone who points out their objectionable behavior.... then you are dealing with a selfish, entitled, narcissist.

People who don't behave like this don't have these kind of problems.

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Vanman (87 )

06/9/2016 12:46

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Enough already, you have made your point.

Stop the lengthy rants, it just makes you seem like the type of person YOU don't like.

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Vanman (87 )

05/9/2016 18:16

Maybe Admin could put a tick box in to the blocking process along the lines of "I blocked you because......"

Probably not a text field as it could be come a source dialog which at least 1 member doesn't want.

I've been blocked before because I was being a pain and have done the same to other people.

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mochablk (23)

05/9/2016 18:21

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That's a great point...great idea...

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ChiFight (6)

01/9/2016 14:14

Blocking is definitely the most important and valuable feature of this or any other social networking site. If everyone knew how to behave in a polite, mature and reasonable manner it would not be necessary, but there are a lot of guys on this site who either see some pictures they like or that your location is near them and they instantly seem to believe they are entitled to something. Their behavior can get pushy, obsessive and stalker-ish VERY quickly (and needless to say it's way more than 20 people).

I've had more than a few guys who I have told "no thanks" to over 20+ times, ignored another 100+ times and after 5 years or more they still attempt to send me messages and repeatedly look at my profile on multiple sites or message boards. Some have gone stretches where they do it nearly every day. The funny thing is most the guys who I would qualify as my stalkers; 1) Don't live anywhere near me, 2) aren't a good size match up and 3) don't even do the same styles I am looking for... yet seem to think they are entitled to a positive response, full of endless turn-on talk and discussions of phantom meetings in the future that will never take place. What is the point of this? If someone says "no thanks" to me, I leave them alone. I don't need to argue and debate, hurl childish insults, accuse them of being fake to salvage my pride or whine about them behind their backs to some little hen party. That's so pitiful and only goes to justify their desire to block you. No one in the history of these sites as ever been told "not interested" from someone and then been able to argue and debate them into changing their minds. Who is that desperate and obsessive that they need to meet someone who isn't interested in them at all? This kind of behavior gets VERY CREEPY, VERY QUICKLY.

I have seen and heard more than a few people on the site claim they were blocked for "no reason". Once again, no one in the history of these sites as ever been blocked for "no reason". They might be too oblivious to know the reason, they may not like the reason, they will never accept the reason as valid (which would mean they acknowledge a problem with their own behavior), but to say there was "no reason" is a lie meant to save face. Their fragile egos just can't handle rejection. I've definitely seen a trend on the site where the pushiest of the stalker types are the very same people who say there should be no blocks, blocks should be highly limited or anyone who blocks them (or doesn't want to meet them) isn't a "real man". OF COURSE they would say that. They don't wan't their messages blocked or to be prevented from ogling the photos of their unhealthy obsession, but to them I would say this...

There are over 7500 members on this site and basic members only get 20 blocks. If you find you have a constant problem with multiple people blocking you (enough that you have to complain about blocks), well that says WAY more about YOU than it does about them.

I don't even know if anyone has me blocked, because I wouldn't keep attempting to look at their profile or harass them after the fact. I certainly wouldn't belly-ache about it in the chatroom for years on end like some drama queen. I can only hope that someday the admins see fit as to increase the number of blocks to at least 50. Everyone should be able to enjoy these kind of sites without daily harassment that might eventually drive them away. In fact, this is the only site I am aware of where blocks are even limited and we all know there are way more than 20 crazies online. I suspect one or two might line up to try and argue with my post, but that only means I must have hit a little too close to home and they see a bit of themselves in the type of people I described.

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Kevin93 (14)

04/9/2016 15:01

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One person blocked me because I said I wasnt interested. He replied with a message. I found he blocked me because I was gonna reply. "good luck in your wrestling search. Not a reason to block someone.

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 00:45

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If it's that simple it is excessive, but it doesn't hurt you and I would have to hear his side of it to know what his reason was.

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Mr Brightside (12)

05/9/2016 00:59

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There doesn't necessarily need to be a reason, I get blocked every time I use the 'no interest' button. The reality is that some fully grown adult men don't like being rejected by complete strangers on the Internet, so they throw their toys out of the pram and press the block button 😂😂

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 01:12

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That might be a dumb reason, but it's a reason. I get that plenty throw tantrums if they get rejected... like saying someone isn't a "real man" or is a fake... bitch about them in the room, etc...

...but who cares if someone you already turned down blocks you? If someone ever did that to me, I didn't notice because I never would have messaged them or attempted to look at their profile to find out.

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jason (27)

01/9/2016 19:49

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So after all of that-my question is-why did u block me??? Rally want to know. Private me with message. I never want to offend anyone on this site. Thanks

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 01:25

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Sorry, Jason. I am going to have to decline any private correspondence with you, but if pointing out what you did to get yourself blocked helps stop this kind of behavior in the future, I am happy to do so.

First off you are not remotely close to what I am looking for. Not in terms of a physical match, nor stylistically, which could be clearly ascertained with one read of my profile. I already found the amount of times you were looking at my profile unappealing, but tolerated it. Then you messaged me once and when I said I wasn't interested (which I shouldn't have needed to), you lashed out with a fairly hostile response, that I recall finding quite comical. Complaining about me in the chatroom didn't help your cause.

At that point I decided, since there would be no valid reason for you to ever need to look at my profile again, being that I will never be meeting you and have no interested in chatting with you, I would remove the temptation that caused you to behave in this manner.

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jason (27)

05/9/2016 02:11

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Thanks for your honest reply. I really appreciate that and I am sorry I offended you in anyway.

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hboxer (13)

24/7/2016 14:24

I blocked by 2 members which I don't know the reason behind it. My thoughts on this is if one is not man enough to tell me hey not interested its their loss not mine.

One member that blocked me which I will not mention cause his handle is not worth it, he had spoken badly of me years ago, so I had to rebuild my status as a boxer which was hard to do for there are not many boxers to compete against. I challenge this guy stating we have score to settle and want to settle it in the ring but as I suspected didn't reply back. With this being sais I hope in the future if I am blocked give reason behind it.

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mochablk (23)

05/9/2016 18:12

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I TOTALLY agree with you hboxer. If you don't have the balls to tell them why, then you don't need to be on here. It's easy to hide behind your PC screen and dictate who "views" you and who doesn't .

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ChiFight (6)

06/9/2016 13:23

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Your attitude on this is absolutely astonishing.

"If someone doesn't want to talk to ME then they must not "have balls", they must not be a "real man" they are "hiding" behind their computer screens" (as if you're not just belly-aching on a keyboard). The amount of ego here is just unbelievable... OR, better yet...

"Hey, they made their profile public"... "I need my fantasy material".... it's in the same vein as the logic rapists use when they say their victim was "asking for it" by what they were wearing.... or a kiddie diddler gawking at kids on the playground.... Hey man, they are in public. If they don't want to be harassed they should stay at home, with their shades drawn and never sign on the internet.

I understand in your mind you are the center of the universe, but to some person who doesn't know you on a site like this you are just one of a million complete strangers... and seemly one who brandishes his negative traits and sense of entitlement like it's something to be proud of.

So by your logic if someone gets 50 calls from an annoying prank caller, they are forced to pick up the phone and give the creep what he wants by engaging with him dozens of times to "prove they are a real man" to someone whose opinion they don't give a rats ass about.... instead of just blocking the number to save themselves the headache.

Did you ever stop and think that a "real man" doesn't give a crap what a desperate crybully thinks? Or maybe they aren't hiding in terror from your keyboard tongue lashings... they just might think you're annoying and can (accurately) tell you're the type that if you don't get your way you'll just never let it go.

You keep trying to declare what a "real man" is, but you are behaving like a petty teenage girl who can't handle rejection without trying to turn the entire school against the person who bruised her ego. Trying to turn not giving you your way into some kind of social faux pas, then looking for the rest of the Mean Girls clique to tell you how right you are.

Most people on the planet don't want to talk to people who think and behave like this. Maybe if you changed the way you behave you wouldn't have so many people blocking you that it's become some kind of obsessive cause to malign them.

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cristians16 (11)

22/7/2016 17:42

I accidently blocked someone. How do I un-do it?
Do not even know there profile name

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Mr Brightside (12)

22/7/2016 23:10

(em resposta à...)

In your settings, click on favourites & past opponents. In that section there will be 3 tabs, one is labelled 'Blocks', click on that and it will show you who you are blocking, you can remove the block in there.

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mochablk (23)

06/5/2015 16:12

I had someone block me for no apparent reason, other than he didn't want me to view his profile any longer. It didn't make sense to me, but...to each their own. Probably not really worth the time anyway.

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ChiFight (6)

01/9/2016 01:59

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Because some guys continue to do it hundreds of times after they have been told "no thanks". Seeing their pic come up viewing your profile nearly every day gets creepy fast.

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mochablk (23)

04/9/2016 19:44

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Creepy? This is a public website is it not? Not to sound snarky, but if that's the case, why bother being on here? I could understand it if I was sending him "creepy" messages or being rude in my comments. I just felt that he and probably some others feel that they're "too good" for anyone to look at their pics. Ok, so be it and block me. ChiFight there is a bit of fantasy involved in this website for some wrestlers as well. Due to a myriad of reasons, not everyone can always jump on a plane and go half-way around the world to MAYBE wrestle someone. So we deal with our intentions and "fantasies" however we can.

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 00:58

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Well it's a members site, you can block your profile to non members... but just because someone has access to something doesn't mean they need to abuse to the point you are creeping people out.

Just using the excuse it's in "public" is setting the bar pretty low for personal behavior. There are plenty of ways to act creepy in public like leering at someone excessively at the beach or gawking at someone through an open window.

Fantasize all you like, but I don't think a ton of people like the idea of someone they find completely unattractive pleasuring themselves to their profile over and over and over. I am not talking one or two looks, I am talking these guys who do it 60+ times.

I just don't think the best way to get on someone's good side is to behave like a peeping tom or stalker.

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mochablk (23)

05/9/2016 18:08

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If that's the case, the site might as well do away with the favorites list.

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Mr Brightside (12)

04/9/2016 13:14

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Couldn't agree more with this! Seeing the same profile/s at the top of your visitors list on an almost daily basis is massively weird.

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 01:03

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Amen to that. I never understood what the point of that was. Are they just savaging themselves to my profile every day or do they think if they look at it eight dozen times I'll have to return their interest?

I don't know what else it could be. It's not like my profile changes daily and they need constant updates.

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hephaestion2014 (47)

04/9/2016 14:12

(em resposta à...)

Hmmm ... yes, but I'm probably guilty of this with some other users, just because it's useful to see past opponent list and recommendations ... not the photos ;)

So if a guy is in Coventry, handy to see who they have wrestled for when I'm next in the area even if I intend to wrestle the original profile or not.

Plus, a lot of the time names are so similar that it's possible to forget who everyone is by just the username.

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ChiFight (6)

05/9/2016 01:08

(em resposta à...)

Nobody objected to looking for a valid reason. It's about looking over and over and over. Daily or dozens, if not hundreds, of times.

Looking at past opponents once in a while is one thing, but no one needs to have them memorized like they are being quizzed on it. I don't know why that would require more than a look or two.

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hephaestion2014 (47)

27/4/2015 00:35

I had a conversation on here with a guy who says he blocks others profiles who clearly state in their profile they wouldn't be interested in him ... e.g under 30s, thin, muscled only.

And in some ways, that's a good idea. Saves both guys wasting some time.

I never thought I'd block, but I have a couple of times. Once by accident for ages (oops) but usually only people who have been identified as having a fake profile.

People are people and sometimes some people will bring the worst out of each other. So blocking is a necessary evil.

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deanohio2 (19)

25/4/2015 12:30

I've had a guy leave a negative rec (because he doesn't understand the word "not interested') then block me immediately so I cannot question it. This is a poor system...even Ebay allows one to respond to negative feedback.

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Kevin93 (14)

26/4/2015 14:47

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I had a guy block me because I posted a comment on his blog. Sometimes it seems a person can't take a hint, or gets upset when you express your opinion on a blog.

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Olympic (25)

04/5/2015 01:11

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I agree with you. Many people can't get criticism from others. Their bad!

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yonkerswrangler (202)

25/4/2015 22:18

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its too easy to block but if they are that quick to block they are probably not much of a fighter either

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yonkerswrangler (202)

25/4/2015 07:24

i find it very easy to hit the block button accidently but what i find amusing is the only person that i am aware of that blocked me rgularly looks at my profile

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Daz (29)

29/1/2015 02:17

PS. A good option is to ignore pests. More polite than blocking

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WrestoBG (51)

03/2/2015 16:12

(em resposta à...)

Then there will be "Why are you ignoring me and don't answer?". I suggest just move on. What is the deal if a stranger is blocking you? Or if someone doesnt want to be contacted. I rarely used that blocking option but i find it a good idea.

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ChiFight (6)

01/9/2016 02:00

(em resposta à...)

Totally agree.

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Daz (29)

03/2/2015 22:41

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Agree. No big deal unless you hear from other mates they have blocked you because they thought you were someone else and it would be nice to set the record straight. Unlike you we don't have many guys in Oz to fight so they culprits aren't doing themselves any favours. It's pretty easy here to find out who is for real and I certainly wouldn't recommend a blocker who hasn't had the courtesy to Let the other guy know why. Not hard is it?

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Admin

28/1/2015 14:28

I had a somewhat similar attitude when the site's predecessor (AllFighters) started. I had the assumption that grownups of our species could get along. I was wrong!

What actually happened was that online conflicts that I would consider too petty to label as "feuds" spilled over to AllFighters. It turns out that just because someone passed the age of 18 (or even 58) does not mean that he passes my definition for a "grownup". I had to implement blocking to put out the fires.

The unfortunate fact is that some people are just too dedicated stalkers / trolls / abhorrent admirers for others to tolerate. I'm not saying that everyone who has ever been blocked is a miscreant: some people block just to spite others. Ultimately I believe that blocking is just the lesser of two evils.

What you propose (warning people who harass, delete profiles, etc) is even less pleasant as it would require me, or some people appointed by me, to get involved in petty conflicts, and play judge and jury. One simple click on the block button is just cleaner.

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ChiFight (6)

01/9/2016 02:02

(em resposta à...)

"The unfortunate fact is that some people are just too dedicated stalkers / trolls / abhorrent admirers for others to tolerate."

That pretty much sums it up perfectly.

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Daz (29)

28/1/2015 23:43

(em resposta à...)

Appreciate the balanced and considered policy on this matter. I encourage the meet fighters community to only use the block option as a last resort. I've found networking with local guys the best recommendation for setting up fights. If you're blocking local members for no reason but spite you'll be doing yourself a disservice as who would recommend you. It's too small a group. In Melbourne we know who is for real. And who is fake and unreliable. I'd say go and waste time elsewhere!

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Daz (29)

28/1/2015 04:07

Why block guys on this site? Sort it out like men I say. This is a meet fighter site so if you're not interested just let the challenger know and have some manners. I find the concept of blocking someone on this site odd and if you're being harrassed the responsible profile should be warned and profile deleted if it continues. What do you guys think?

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