Perhaps it's been a while since everyone's read the Terms of Service, but §3 clearly states that naming and shaming is still prohibited (except for the abuse flags). So, I keep suspending a few profiles for a few days every now and then. Please just stop.
all the bitching and "he did", "he said" bollocks why do people find it so important to moan moan and better moan if you get let down put it down to experience, remember the name and move on. just my own observation.
SouthernSub has come up with an idea to (hopefully!) make it easier to identify and weed out time wasters. It's under the "suggestions" section of this site and entitled "match invite system". I urge you all to support this idea.
Bloody hell, it's just happened to me! I did not comment, message or communicate with a member of this site and now I have been treated to nasty and negative comments and now I cannot do anything about it! Like any normal person would I retaliated. Naturally, I have blocked the offending member but I have to put up with the false and negative recommendation from someone who I have never arranged to meet or promised anything to or let down in any way etc etc. I am really wondering if the site is properly in control of members who damage it from within by behaving so badly.
The other side to the coin is that the recommendation system can be abused by those posting the recommendation. I have been chatting to someone who has been a member of this site for some time (and through whom, I decided to join) and he has already warned me about that problem. There have been guys who, unable to take a "no thanks" to an unwanted meeting or challenge then place insulting and false information about the other guy by saying their profile is "fake" and/or they are rude and bad mannered. Neither of which was true! Such immature and petulant behaviour hardly encourages new members that they have joined a site catering for adults.
Being female I probably don't get the same number of no-shows a male might get simply by virtue of the fact that by the time I've reached the point of an actual match time and date I will have spoken directly to the other female for the purposes of verifying that she is a genuine female. This tends to create a more personal bond I think.
I'm rarely comfortable with females who verify but then tell me they want their male partner to make the arrangements as I've been bitten with that one in the past.
The guy in question arranged terms including match format with me that clearly appealed to him but he obviously went further than she was willing for him to go. Ten minutes before they we due to show up they cancelled, though I don't actually class it as a cancellation, I class it as a no-show. He'd obviously told her what he'd arranged and she refused to take part at that point.
It might have been interesting if we had made it on the mats and only then she had found out what she had been signed up for.
Ultimately I blame her though, she should have dealt with her own arrangements or at the very least oversaw what was arranged on her behalf.
The most common unbelievable reason for not being able to verify is always the claim that they can't take the call because they have children. I have children and I can make phone calls without their knowledge or permission. And if I need to deal with a call privately I can either go to another room or tell the kids to go.
Not being able to verify is very common, but at least it means I don't get my time wasted waiting for no-shows in the real world.
I agree sort of. Unfortunately ist always the same with sites like this. For example only very little people react in the chat if you start a query with them. Out of 20 peeps in the that only 4 are actually there and answer *hello, hey*. So firstly most peeps in the chat are a waste.
I think in each country are only handful people who are real. All others are time wasters and "wanna be's". So the website and the database has limited sense and function because it is polluted with fakers who never answer, not even say "no interest".
If interests are different, one fighter wants "straight fighting" the other wants "fun fighting only" well that is ok. Just write that its different styles and not good match. But 90% of peoples not respond, not in chat not via mail. So yes, it is a waste.
As always time wasters are a problem…but there is another side to that equation…I constantly get emails that say, hey I am in town today and I want to fight you…ok I guess those people do not think that anyone else but them have a life and while I should be sitting around anxiously awaiting those emails, I do not…
Sometimes I have other matches set up or work to do, or family things going on…I live with a gf that is not into me fighting at all and I have to work around that, and sure I can and will fight with decent notice, and I certainly have and do with enough notice, but I cannot get an email and run out the door, doesn’t work that way at least not for me…
Also there are some request that I do not feel like I fit in with…nothing personal but it is just not right for me, so I politely try to say no, for example I am a certain size so when someone wants to fight that out weights me 60 lbs. and is 40 years younger than I am, there is a very good chance I am not interested, that does not make the other person into a bad guy, it just means no thanks, or sometimes what someone writes to me is in a manner that just turns me off, I simply do not lock myself into a room with the idea of fighting someone that seem a little unstable to me, or are really out to hurt someone, so again I say no…yet saying no can easily turn into something else which is, I do not show up, and that is totally not true, if I make an appointment I have always shown up and fought…But if I said no thank you, it is because I either cannot do it at that time or I am not interested, but I do not make appointments that I do not show up for once a fight is set…
It is not a requirement that I be interested in everyone that wants to fight me, I am sure there are lot of guys that are not interested in me when I ask them for a fight…fine that is how it goes…But it is a very bad thing to make an appointment and not show up, and we have all had that happen…but again there has to be a clear understanding of what that appointment is and that it was agreed on by all parties not just one side…
I love to fight and willingly do it as much as I can, and I hate no shows too…but there are always other sides to just saying this guy or that did not show up…maybe that guy never agreed to fight you in the first place…happens…
Interesting discussion. I think admin is right that in the end we can usually judge from the recommendations etc - also people could put you in the hall of shame out of meanness which would not be much fun! It's hard when people are new which is where I have been disappointed.
What bothers me ( and I think wrestleroom?) is dishonesty. My hunch is that we all wonder if the cat really did die and whether the guy just wanted an excuse..... Sort of like the dog ate my homework, grannie died etc etc ...
My keen meet who then stopped responding Is the same - I wouldn't have minded a simple sorry I've changed my mind...
So my question is how can people just be honest with each other on here? Or is it too much to expect?
restle: I don`t use the past opponents section or recommendations as I have a partner who turns a blind eye to my wrestling activities - but listing my conquests/defeats wouldnt go down well!
Why would he be viewing this site unless he's doing the same as you?
One way to avoid having your time wasted by a guy you have not met before would be to invite him along to a session you have already organised with someone you already know. That way, if the new guy doesn't show up, at least you will have your bout with your existing friend.
This way you get more than one guy to fight, which is fun and also useful if you are demonstrating techniques.
I realise that this all supposes that we are talking about actual wrestling, of course. I know that for a lot of guys on this site, they say "wrestling" but they actually mean sex.
I think if u set up a "hall of shame" all that happens is they cancel their profile and start again - so pretty pointless. To answer admin point I don`t use the past opponents section or recommendations as I have a partner who turns a blind eye to my wrestling activities - but listing my conquests/defeats wouldnt go down well!
I understand the sentiment that fmrhugger and WarriorMuscle are expressing. I think everyone who has ever tried to meet someone online has experienced this at some point.
I just want to reiterate that none of this warrants a finger-pointing forum. The site already has all the facilities to weed out fakes. You look at a guy's profile, see he's been here for months, and ask yourself: why doesn't he have any past opponents or recommendations? Am I somehow so special that he hasn't met anyone, yet willing to meet me? No. No past opponents is just a clear indication that you want to hold off on buying that plane ticket or reserving that mat room. On the other hand, if he does have past opponents, you can ask them how reliable the guy is. Simple.
I also want to point out that there is the "unreliable" abuse flag that you can post on a guy's profile if you're stood up. Granted, you need some recommendations yourself to post abuse flags; it just stands to reason that you need to have a good reputation before you can make statements about others reputation. Posting an abuse flag is simple, elegant, and saves you from going on a long rant about how horribly you've been cheated.
I agree. I set up a match a couple of years ago on Global with a guy in NYC. I took the train up. He stopped answering his cell phone and vanished. He took his old profile down and reposted it under another name. Hall of shame works for me.
For some reason this seems to be accepted behavior in our group. A few years ago I set up a match with a specific date and time. The day came and went and I heard nothing–no phone call, text or e-mail. After two days, I saw the guy online and asked him what had happened. At first he said that he thought it was only tentative. I reminded him that he had called to confirm the week before. Then he said he was sick. I thought that was fine, but again asked why he had not tried to tell me he was not coming. His condition according to the conversation changed from sick, to very sick, to having a terrible fever, to having to visit the hospital. Fine, but this did not explain why two days later he was on the wrestling website, but I had still not received any communication. According to him, cell phone recpetion was terribel at his hotel. A local friend of his took up his argument and I was painted as unreasonable. I did not care and held my ground. I had even cancelled an appointment with a contractor so we could have the afternoon to ourselves. I do not have a problem with people cancelling if they call. Things happen in life.People get sick. Travel has its pitfalls. Planes, trains and even driving can be subject to delays. All I ask is that the person call me and let me know so I do not end up waiting or cancelling something else I could have done at the same time.
If you look at my profile, it should be obvious that I had quite a few matches. That said, I did cancel some for various reasons. I would hate to be posted on a hall of shame for any of them.
I believe there are good enough facilities on this site to tell the reliable guys from the fakes and there's absolutely no need for any "hall of shame" or similar partisan forum.
I agree with untouchable. I hate time wasters and one of the best things in this site is that you can really tell who are real and who are fakes, but, if my cat died (if i had one), i would not feel much like meeting someone I have not met before for a fight. We are all human, is not such a bad excuse.
Thanks so much for posting that. I was about to make a similar post. Seem to be lots of people who talk and plan and then cancel at the last minute. I can excuse that but then when they don't reply to further emails ( having been desperate to meet before) I really get cheesed off. It's do dishonest and feeble.
I guess they get their rocks off on the chase then can't be bothered to be polite.
There are also I guess quite a few flakey people who just don't keep track of emails. I find it annoying when they ask to meet and I come back with dates and then get no reply. Guess I'm organised and polite and straightforward and expect the same in return.
I think we should have a "Hall of Shame" on here where time-wasters could be named and shamed. The most pathetic excuse I've heard today for not meeting up was that the cat had died.
Admin
23/9/2012 21:25Perhaps it's been a while since everyone's read the Terms of Service, but §3 clearly states that naming and shaming is still prohibited (except for the abuse flags). So, I keep suspending a few profiles for a few days every now and then. Please just stop.
Steady Eddie (0)
23/9/2012 19:12this thread shows everything that's wrong with this site .............oh my!
SileX (207 )
23/9/2012 21:34(em resposta à...)
And just what might that be?
Steady Eddie (0)
24/9/2012 20:57(em resposta à...)
all the bitching and "he did", "he said" bollocks why do people find it so important to moan moan and better moan if you get let down put it down to experience, remember the name and move on. just my own observation.
SileX (207 )
24/9/2012 21:55(em resposta à...)
So I guess what you're saying is there is not much wrong with this site. I certainly haven't seen a lot of bitching. :)
Steady Eddie (0)
24/9/2012 22:23(em resposta à...)
the title of this thread ,by definition is a big moan/bitch please note this is my last word on this subject
SileX (207 )
24/9/2012 22:31(em resposta à...)
Wait – is THIS the bitching you are talking about?
This think you do now? :P
Steady Eddie (0)
24/9/2012 22:45(em resposta à...)
hey I just thought you may be right congratulations! one less person on the site!
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (14)
22/9/2012 19:24Post violating Terms of Service §3 removed – Admin
Lincoln Lad (66)
23/9/2012 10:27(em resposta à...)
Post removed – Admin
Tynesider (84)
23/9/2012 08:47(em resposta à...)
Post removed – Admin
Anfänger (5)
22/9/2012 15:48For Fakers use the Google Images Search: http://www.google.com/insidesearch/features/images/searchbyimage.html
With this tool you can find out the source of a picture, for example:
http://www.teenbodybuilding.com/cooperh.htm
Lancelot00: http://hommemodel.blogspot.de/2009/12/blaine-cook.html
A good alternative is "tineye.com"
ryan (0)
05/8/2012 17:02SouthernSub has come up with an idea to (hopefully!) make it easier to identify and weed out time wasters. It's under the "suggestions" section of this site and entitled "match invite system". I urge you all to support this idea.
fmrhugger (17)
05/8/2012 00:17Globalfight has their eMeet. Its one way to deal with it, it doesn't forget, and everyone can see it and come to their own conclusion.
ryan (0)
04/8/2012 23:09Bloody hell, it's just happened to me! I did not comment, message or communicate with a member of this site and now I have been treated to nasty and negative comments and now I cannot do anything about it! Like any normal person would I retaliated. Naturally, I have blocked the offending member but I have to put up with the false and negative recommendation from someone who I have never arranged to meet or promised anything to or let down in any way etc etc. I am really wondering if the site is properly in control of members who damage it from within by behaving so badly.
ryan (0)
04/8/2012 20:30The other side to the coin is that the recommendation system can be abused by those posting the recommendation. I have been chatting to someone who has been a member of this site for some time (and through whom, I decided to join) and he has already warned me about that problem. There have been guys who, unable to take a "no thanks" to an unwanted meeting or challenge then place insulting and false information about the other guy by saying their profile is "fake" and/or they are rude and bad mannered. Neither of which was true! Such immature and petulant behaviour hardly encourages new members that they have joined a site catering for adults.
saesneg (0)
17/4/2012 19:28Being female I probably don't get the same number of no-shows a male might get simply by virtue of the fact that by the time I've reached the point of an actual match time and date I will have spoken directly to the other female for the purposes of verifying that she is a genuine female. This tends to create a more personal bond I think.
I'm rarely comfortable with females who verify but then tell me they want their male partner to make the arrangements as I've been bitten with that one in the past.
The guy in question arranged terms including match format with me that clearly appealed to him but he obviously went further than she was willing for him to go. Ten minutes before they we due to show up they cancelled, though I don't actually class it as a cancellation, I class it as a no-show. He'd obviously told her what he'd arranged and she refused to take part at that point.
It might have been interesting if we had made it on the mats and only then she had found out what she had been signed up for.
Ultimately I blame her though, she should have dealt with her own arrangements or at the very least oversaw what was arranged on her behalf.
The most common unbelievable reason for not being able to verify is always the claim that they can't take the call because they have children. I have children and I can make phone calls without their knowledge or permission. And if I need to deal with a call privately I can either go to another room or tell the kids to go.
Not being able to verify is very common, but at least it means I don't get my time wasted waiting for no-shows in the real world.
fundom (3)
07/4/2012 14:27The "best" or possibly "worst" excuse I have ever had was " My friend's african parrot has escaped and I have to help her try and find it"
When a new date for a meet was arranged a cancellation came in late again, this time it was "Flu".
I can only assume it was bird flu
funraufer (4)
16/2/2012 14:22I agree sort of. Unfortunately ist always the same with sites like this. For example only very little people react in the chat if you start a query with them. Out of 20 peeps in the that only 4 are actually there and answer *hello, hey*. So firstly most peeps in the chat are a waste.
I think in each country are only handful people who are real. All others are time wasters and "wanna be's". So the website and the database has limited sense and function because it is polluted with fakers who never answer, not even say "no interest".
If interests are different, one fighter wants "straight fighting" the other wants "fun fighting only" well that is ok. Just write that its different styles and not good match. But 90% of peoples not respond, not in chat not via mail. So yes, it is a waste.
restle (31)
14/2/2012 17:44last post...lost the will to live reading it all!!
bifighter (0)
14/2/2012 01:57As always time wasters are a problem…but there is another side to that equation…I constantly get emails that say, hey I am in town today and I want to fight you…ok I guess those people do not think that anyone else but them have a life and while I should be sitting around anxiously awaiting those emails, I do not…
Sometimes I have other matches set up or work to do, or family things going on…I live with a gf that is not into me fighting at all and I have to work around that, and sure I can and will fight with decent notice, and I certainly have and do with enough notice, but I cannot get an email and run out the door, doesn’t work that way at least not for me…
Also there are some request that I do not feel like I fit in with…nothing personal but it is just not right for me, so I politely try to say no, for example I am a certain size so when someone wants to fight that out weights me 60 lbs. and is 40 years younger than I am, there is a very good chance I am not interested, that does not make the other person into a bad guy, it just means no thanks, or sometimes what someone writes to me is in a manner that just turns me off, I simply do not lock myself into a room with the idea of fighting someone that seem a little unstable to me, or are really out to hurt someone, so again I say no…yet saying no can easily turn into something else which is, I do not show up, and that is totally not true, if I make an appointment I have always shown up and fought…But if I said no thank you, it is because I either cannot do it at that time or I am not interested, but I do not make appointments that I do not show up for once a fight is set…
It is not a requirement that I be interested in everyone that wants to fight me, I am sure there are lot of guys that are not interested in me when I ask them for a fight…fine that is how it goes…But it is a very bad thing to make an appointment and not show up, and we have all had that happen…but again there has to be a clear understanding of what that appointment is and that it was agreed on by all parties not just one side…
I love to fight and willingly do it as much as I can, and I hate no shows too…but there are always other sides to just saying this guy or that did not show up…maybe that guy never agreed to fight you in the first place…happens…
Sturdy (31)
22/1/2012 20:58So my question is how can people just be honest with each other on here? Or is it too much to expect?
Some people are genuine. Some are not.
This the whole reason for the Recommendations system; you can SEE who is genuine and not a fetish fantasy wanker.
boston kid (75)
22/1/2012 20:28Hi guys
Interesting discussion. I think admin is right that in the end we can usually judge from the recommendations etc - also people could put you in the hall of shame out of meanness which would not be much fun! It's hard when people are new which is where I have been disappointed.
What bothers me ( and I think wrestleroom?) is dishonesty. My hunch is that we all wonder if the cat really did die and whether the guy just wanted an excuse..... Sort of like the dog ate my homework, grannie died etc etc ...
My keen meet who then stopped responding Is the same - I wouldn't have minded a simple sorry I've changed my mind...
So my question is how can people just be honest with each other on here? Or is it too much to expect?
Thoughts?
Sturdy (31)
22/1/2012 18:17restle: I don`t use the past opponents section or recommendations as I have a partner who turns a blind eye to my wrestling activities - but listing my conquests/defeats wouldnt go down well!
Why would he be viewing this site unless he's doing the same as you?
Sturdy (31)
22/1/2012 17:45One way to avoid having your time wasted by a guy you have not met before would be to invite him along to a session you have already organised with someone you already know. That way, if the new guy doesn't show up, at least you will have your bout with your existing friend.
This way you get more than one guy to fight, which is fun and also useful if you are demonstrating techniques.
I realise that this all supposes that we are talking about actual wrestling, of course. I know that for a lot of guys on this site, they say "wrestling" but they actually mean sex.
restle (31)
22/1/2012 11:24I think if u set up a "hall of shame" all that happens is they cancel their profile and start again - so pretty pointless. To answer admin point I don`t use the past opponents section or recommendations as I have a partner who turns a blind eye to my wrestling activities - but listing my conquests/defeats wouldnt go down well!
Admin
22/1/2012 10:25I understand the sentiment that fmrhugger and WarriorMuscle are expressing. I think everyone who has ever tried to meet someone online has experienced this at some point.
I just want to reiterate that none of this warrants a finger-pointing forum. The site already has all the facilities to weed out fakes. You look at a guy's profile, see he's been here for months, and ask yourself: why doesn't he have any past opponents or recommendations? Am I somehow so special that he hasn't met anyone, yet willing to meet me? No. No past opponents is just a clear indication that you want to hold off on buying that plane ticket or reserving that mat room. On the other hand, if he does have past opponents, you can ask them how reliable the guy is. Simple.
I also want to point out that there is the "unreliable" abuse flag that you can post on a guy's profile if you're stood up. Granted, you need some recommendations yourself to post abuse flags; it just stands to reason that you need to have a good reputation before you can make statements about others reputation. Posting an abuse flag is simple, elegant, and saves you from going on a long rant about how horribly you've been cheated.
fmrhugger (17)
22/1/2012 05:49I agree. I set up a match a couple of years ago on Global with a guy in NYC. I took the train up. He stopped answering his cell phone and vanished. He took his old profile down and reposted it under another name. Hall of shame works for me.
WarriorMuscle (34)
22/1/2012 04:05For some reason this seems to be accepted behavior in our group. A few years ago I set up a match with a specific date and time. The day came and went and I heard nothing–no phone call, text or e-mail. After two days, I saw the guy online and asked him what had happened. At first he said that he thought it was only tentative. I reminded him that he had called to confirm the week before. Then he said he was sick. I thought that was fine, but again asked why he had not tried to tell me he was not coming. His condition according to the conversation changed from sick, to very sick, to having a terrible fever, to having to visit the hospital. Fine, but this did not explain why two days later he was on the wrestling website, but I had still not received any communication. According to him, cell phone recpetion was terribel at his hotel. A local friend of his took up his argument and I was painted as unreasonable. I did not care and held my ground. I had even cancelled an appointment with a contractor so we could have the afternoon to ourselves. I do not have a problem with people cancelling if they call. Things happen in life.People get sick. Travel has its pitfalls. Planes, trains and even driving can be subject to delays. All I ask is that the person call me and let me know so I do not end up waiting or cancelling something else I could have done at the same time.
pin2win (32)
21/1/2012 23:18Agree with Sile .... perfect summation .... although I can understand the frustration wrestleroom & boston kid express.
SileX (207 )
21/1/2012 22:37If you look at my profile, it should be obvious that I had quite a few matches. That said, I did cancel some for various reasons. I would hate to be posted on a hall of shame for any of them.
I believe there are good enough facilities on this site to tell the reliable guys from the fakes and there's absolutely no need for any "hall of shame" or similar partisan forum.
Jorgefighter (245)
21/1/2012 20:08I agree with untouchable. I hate time wasters and one of the best things in this site is that you can really tell who are real and who are fakes, but, if my cat died (if i had one), i would not feel much like meeting someone I have not met before for a fight. We are all human, is not such a bad excuse.
untouchable1 (12)
21/1/2012 19:57To be fair, If my cat died, I would cancel the meet. Some people are close to their pets.
boston kid (75)
21/1/2012 18:26Thanks so much for posting that. I was about to make a similar post. Seem to be lots of people who talk and plan and then cancel at the last minute. I can excuse that but then when they don't reply to further emails ( having been desperate to meet before) I really get cheesed off. It's do dishonest and feeble.
I guess they get their rocks off on the chase then can't be bothered to be polite.
There are also I guess quite a few flakey people who just don't keep track of emails. I find it annoying when they ask to meet and I come back with dates and then get no reply. Guess I'm organised and polite and straightforward and expect the same in return.
So I support a flake button!
Cheers all
wrestleroom (0)
21/1/2012 15:51I think we should have a "Hall of Shame" on here where time-wasters could be named and shamed. The most pathetic excuse I've heard today for not meeting up was that the cat had died.