The worst is that so many, whether locals or visitors that do not even have the courtesy to reply when a message is sent to them. There is no excuse for this unless there is a computer issue or similar and u did not actually receive a message.
This has everything to do with being clear about what you want and what your intentions are, as opposed to ageism.
Not everyone on here is looking to train for training sake, and not everyone is here looking for an erotic experience. You can't tell who is in which category until you clearly state your own–and that can differ from person to person on the same site. A mismatch is just a mismatch (e.g. someone meets your criteria for training partner, but you don't meet theirs for erotic experience); not to mention the unfortunate incidents of veiled/hidden intention that is not always stated up front (e.g. someone says they're looking to train when they're hoping for an erotic experience).
My experience thus far is that the vast majority of folks on this site have no training or experience–and in a sport like BJJ, this has potential danger above and beyond the normal risks we take in classes, particularly at lower belt levels. But if it's one BJJ player approaching another BJJ player, mismatch is still possible.
Point being, if it's a mismatch, it's fine to state it's a mismatch. Be clear and honest about what you want. Just don't be an asshole about it.
I’ll train with almost anyone with a good attitude and any age rank gender or body type IN THE BJJ ACADEMY. I carefully limit whom I choose to wrestle via this site, because I don’t trust many people here. No waivers are signed. There are some creepy perverts (not talking about mild fetishes). Some people refuse to learn, cuz they want to be choked out or hurt. The spazzes are dangerous and older spazzes often to themselves. Some have never set foot into a gym of at kind yet expect to go 1000%. I don’t to be wrestling when my partner has a heart attack. There are undoubtedly predators too, which is why refusal to participate in group sessions is sus. You guys gotta understand that the risks are greater for older people when they are untrained or in grossly bad shape. I suggest going to an academy to train if you are not very competent in the mat. Otherwise I don’t suggest using this site to get matches. The risk is too high for the untrained.
There doesn't seem to be a lot of guys into jiujitsu on here. And that's a shame because I really enjoy it. But it's true most guys are looking on here for others into the same turn-on's as they are, and based on that there needs to be an attraction. So badmoose is quite right that on here, at least, not everyone is a fit with everyone.
The obvious question then becomes that if everyone here is on for fetishes and related reasons then why is there a group devoted to BJJ? The second question, not quite as obvious is that we have a situation where some of those replying make not be aware, especially if they are younger, how much it hurts when one is rejected and ignored not just once or twice but over and over. Is a blue bell worn by a senior any less valid than a blue belt worn by a young adult?
BJJWrestlerLasVegas, I'm afraid I still don't get your point. Me and my partner (11 years older than me), we are both into BJJ and we have even met at Meetfighters more than 6 yrs ago. Still we usually meet guys here for wrestling with erotic part in it. My partner is attending his grappling gym three times a week and of course, in these classes, there should be no discrimination at all.
However, when we meet guys through Meetfighters, at least for us it is because it's a turn on for us to wrestle with sexy sporty guys. I don't say these guys can't be older than us but simply mutual chemistry and charisma is important. I simply don't want to have erotic physical contact with guys I'm not attracted to and at the same time, I'm not interested in meeting guys for formal training only here as I have my krav maga classes two times a week and a lot of other sports.
I wrote a short article about this here in blog a few years ago because I simply felt a few times that I was forced to meet someone even when I was not attracted to the guy and after rejecting him, I was hate spoken that I discriminate. Btw. I was also rejected so many times because the one I challenged was not attracted to me and I know it can hurt but it is definitely not the other's fault, in my opinion.
Take care and I wish you many nice encounters!
Tom
Jujitsu is a fetish. Greco Roman wrestling is a fetish. Pro wrestling is a fetish. All types of wrestling are a fetish for people. This site was created for gay men to explore their interest in wrestling as a fetish.
Yes, rejection hurts. Everyone gets rejected. But this is a site to explore wrestling as a fetish so it’s completely fair for people to apply a sexual filter to the types of people they want to wrestle.
I don’t agree that jj and other form of combat sports or martial arts are just fetiches. I see them beyond that. I have been practicing jj for quite some time now, I started at 7 y.o. when my father took me to Master Carlson Gracie club and been practicing since then. When I meet a guy here I must say that I consider two
factors, the physical attraction and the opportunity for a good match too. I would not refuse an invitation for a match but I would not get into the erotic part of the game if there is no chemistry to it but I will refuse an invitation to a match if I feel an over competitive guy wanting a real life fight. I am a trained fighter and do will not get involved in a true competition without the reasonable safety issues taken care of. Also will never refuse teaching any one willing to learn that wonderful art.
I was not implying that bjj as a sport is a fetish. I’m saying that wrestling in a jujitsu style can be a fetish. For me, I don’t like pro wrestling, however rolling with a guy I’m
Attracted too and both of us trying to make the other tap out is a fetish for me.
I agree. I have had guys for wrestling decline meeting due to bring older, but there are plenty of others who I meet, on here and other sites. Bjj guys seem to be more interested in bjj as a sport, as opposed to a fetish, in my experience.
We are not all attracted to everyone...that's life. I will meet and wrestle almost anyone, but i cant guarantee it eill be erotic for me.
I think a vast majority of people who come to MF are doing so to explore a fetish they have in wrestling. I would argue that very few people are here seeking to grow and develop their jujitsu, that’s what the local bjj schools are for. So please don’t think folks are ageist Just because they don’t want to roll with you. It’s because they are here seeking something else and everyone has a right to determine who is and who is not their type.
I have met many very good fighters here. Have fought with more than one black belt here. I agree with the additional interest most of us are looking for here but there are also great opportunities to meet and train with some great guys here.
I 100% agree with you. There are many exceptional jujitsu practitioners on this site. I am simply arguing that you cannot claim people are ageist on this site when they are here to satisfy a fetish.
I agree with Badmoose in this. One point is practicing BJJ and other sports where there is no place for discrimination against anyone (based on age or whatever). On the other hand, after so many years here and tens of guys I've met, I found out I want to meet guys because of my fetish and not because of training and "improving". For sports reason, I rather go to my club or roll with friends on our mats.
I've got so many offers from guys here that are 20+ years older than me and I always try to be as frank as possible in my replies to them. Sorry guys, but in case you are not a sixty years old bodybuilder in perfect form, probably I won't meet you because I'm mostly for fulfilling my fetish here.
No matter what, I think decency, friendliness and sincerity is important.
Stay safe, guys!
Completely agree. Age should not be a factor for any one To drop a match request. Sometimes you may find some old bloke able to teach you a trick or two in this wonderful art. Don’t let prejudice take over and make you loose a great time on the mats. Also don’t drop a request from someone with a lower belt than you. Remember that you started as a white belt and some good folk helped you achieved what you’ve got. We can even meet at the dojo one day.
As a senior involved in BJJ when there is a reasonably good match as far as to being involved in BJJ, rolling, practicing techniques, not being more than about 25kg different in weight, etc it makes no sense to exclude someone as a practice partner solely due age. The BJJ schools are welcoming, shouldn't you be as welcoming? Yes, seniors are at higher risk for Covid-19 and that is a good reason why they may only want to practice with fewer around in a more private environment to minimize risk. . As was on the door at a BJJ school in Canton, Mi there was a sign "leave your ego at the door". let's add leave your ageism at the door as well. You are not at the county clerk's office getting a marriage license. Most in BJJ are not scorekeepers, they just want to learn technique and roll. It may come as a surprise to some but everyone ages, even the sponges that live to 11,000 years. Please cut us some slack, we can contribute to a good training session or roll. Please do not have an ego as high as Olympus Mons, we just want to be treated as equals and involved in BJJ. Thanks
Totally agree bud. I roll all ages from 18 to 60 at least. The old guys are sometimes more dangerous and skilled than the young ones!.
I'd deffo roll you mate
I roll with older people at my BJJ gym everyday and enjoy it. But when I go to a BJJ gym the primary purpose is to do BJJ. Meetfighters is basically a dating/hookup site for people into fighting. It’s totally different. I’m not looking to date or hook up with people who are much older than me and whom I’m not attracted to.
If you just want to roll why would you be looking for partners here? There are vastly more opportunities outside of this niche site.
There are several reasons that some may want to roll outside of the gym.
1) BJJ gyms are not cheap
2) Injuries limit the kind of rolling you can do
3) Due Covid want to limit interaction to a limited number of people
4) Cost of transportation
5) Availability of transportation
6) Poor physical shape
If you’re not in good enough shape/too injured for a gym then you shouldn’t be here either. You’re at a far greater risk of getting hurt. It’s not fair to your partner even if you’re willing to get hurt. Do you think they want to hurt someone even accidentally? Do you think they want the potential liability? If you’re not healthy enough for a BJJ Academy then you’re not healthy enough for this site either. It’s a harsh truth but necessary to accept.
If all local gyms are unaffordable then either you have more important issues like earning more money. If need be you can save up and go for a year after you have the capital required. There are often cheap options too. I used to travel 1-2 hrs to train. You gotta plan.
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
7/04/2022 12:27 PMThe worst is that so many, whether locals or visitors that do not even have the courtesy to reply when a message is sent to them. There is no excuse for this unless there is a computer issue or similar and u did not actually receive a message.
berimbolo (1 )
4/09/2022 2:49 PMThis has everything to do with being clear about what you want and what your intentions are, as opposed to ageism.
Not everyone on here is looking to train for training sake, and not everyone is here looking for an erotic experience. You can't tell who is in which category until you clearly state your own–and that can differ from person to person on the same site. A mismatch is just a mismatch (e.g. someone meets your criteria for training partner, but you don't meet theirs for erotic experience); not to mention the unfortunate incidents of veiled/hidden intention that is not always stated up front (e.g. someone says they're looking to train when they're hoping for an erotic experience).
My experience thus far is that the vast majority of folks on this site have no training or experience–and in a sport like BJJ, this has potential danger above and beyond the normal risks we take in classes, particularly at lower belt levels. But if it's one BJJ player approaching another BJJ player, mismatch is still possible.
Point being, if it's a mismatch, it's fine to state it's a mismatch. Be clear and honest about what you want. Just don't be an asshole about it.
Batterysentinel (7)
4/09/2022 5:42 AMI’ll train with almost anyone with a good attitude and any age rank gender or body type IN THE BJJ ACADEMY. I carefully limit whom I choose to wrestle via this site, because I don’t trust many people here. No waivers are signed. There are some creepy perverts (not talking about mild fetishes). Some people refuse to learn, cuz they want to be choked out or hurt. The spazzes are dangerous and older spazzes often to themselves. Some have never set foot into a gym of at kind yet expect to go 1000%. I don’t to be wrestling when my partner has a heart attack. There are undoubtedly predators too, which is why refusal to participate in group sessions is sus. You guys gotta understand that the risks are greater for older people when they are untrained or in grossly bad shape. I suggest going to an academy to train if you are not very competent in the mat. Otherwise I don’t suggest using this site to get matches. The risk is too high for the untrained.
judokavalenciano (4)
10/19/2020 2:06 AMexactly, in fact I prefer a match with an older opponent than younger... Veterans are ussually more agressives and harder in a fight
RollingRollingRolling (25)
10/23/2020 1:36 PM(In reply to this)
Always happy to fight you JV:-)
Alecmusc (25)
10/19/2020 2:33 AM(In reply to this)
If they are old and still fighting there must be something about those guys which need a second look.
calwrestler (141)
10/24/2020 8:07 PM(In reply to this)
So true
Good point
judokavalenciano (4)
10/13/2020 1:49 AMI am sure that I am not the only one who does not care about the age for a fight
judokavalenciano (4)
10/12/2020 8:13 AMIn my case I dont mind the age of my opponent.
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
10/12/2020 8:17 AM(In reply to this)
So nice to see someone who is not prejudiced. Thank you.
f4leglock (11)
10/11/2020 1:15 PMThere doesn't seem to be a lot of guys into jiujitsu on here. And that's a shame because I really enjoy it. But it's true most guys are looking on here for others into the same turn-on's as they are, and based on that there needs to be an attraction. So badmoose is quite right that on here, at least, not everyone is a fit with everyone.
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
10/11/2020 2:21 PM(In reply to this)
The obvious question then becomes that if everyone here is on for fetishes and related reasons then why is there a group devoted to BJJ? The second question, not quite as obvious is that we have a situation where some of those replying make not be aware, especially if they are younger, how much it hurts when one is rejected and ignored not just once or twice but over and over. Is a blue bell worn by a senior any less valid than a blue belt worn by a young adult?
KinksterTom (88 )
10/11/2020 11:26 PM(In reply to this)
BJJWrestlerLasVegas, I'm afraid I still don't get your point. Me and my partner (11 years older than me), we are both into BJJ and we have even met at Meetfighters more than 6 yrs ago. Still we usually meet guys here for wrestling with erotic part in it. My partner is attending his grappling gym three times a week and of course, in these classes, there should be no discrimination at all.
However, when we meet guys through Meetfighters, at least for us it is because it's a turn on for us to wrestle with sexy sporty guys. I don't say these guys can't be older than us but simply mutual chemistry and charisma is important. I simply don't want to have erotic physical contact with guys I'm not attracted to and at the same time, I'm not interested in meeting guys for formal training only here as I have my krav maga classes two times a week and a lot of other sports.
I wrote a short article about this here in blog a few years ago because I simply felt a few times that I was forced to meet someone even when I was not attracted to the guy and after rejecting him, I was hate spoken that I discriminate. Btw. I was also rejected so many times because the one I challenged was not attracted to me and I know it can hurt but it is definitely not the other's fault, in my opinion.
Take care and I wish you many nice encounters!
Tom
Badmoose (12)
10/11/2020 5:47 PM(In reply to this)
Jujitsu is a fetish. Greco Roman wrestling is a fetish. Pro wrestling is a fetish. All types of wrestling are a fetish for people. This site was created for gay men to explore their interest in wrestling as a fetish.
Yes, rejection hurts. Everyone gets rejected. But this is a site to explore wrestling as a fetish so it’s completely fair for people to apply a sexual filter to the types of people they want to wrestle.
Alecmusc (25)
10/12/2020 12:40 AM(In reply to this)
I don’t agree that jj and other form of combat sports or martial arts are just fetiches. I see them beyond that. I have been practicing jj for quite some time now, I started at 7 y.o. when my father took me to Master Carlson Gracie club and been practicing since then. When I meet a guy here I must say that I consider two
factors, the physical attraction and the opportunity for a good match too. I would not refuse an invitation for a match but I would not get into the erotic part of the game if there is no chemistry to it but I will refuse an invitation to a match if I feel an over competitive guy wanting a real life fight. I am a trained fighter and do will not get involved in a true competition without the reasonable safety issues taken care of. Also will never refuse teaching any one willing to learn that wonderful art.
Badmoose (12)
10/12/2020 4:30 AM(In reply to this)
I was not implying that bjj as a sport is a fetish. I’m saying that wrestling in a jujitsu style can be a fetish. For me, I don’t like pro wrestling, however rolling with a guy I’m
Attracted too and both of us trying to make the other tap out is a fetish for me.
f4leglock (11)
4/09/2022 10:08 PM(In reply to this)
That’s a great reply man. I totally agree!
Alecmusc (25)
10/12/2020 8:19 AM(In reply to this)
Got you, does make sense.
f4leglock (11)
10/11/2020 10:01 PM(In reply to this)
I agree. I have had guys for wrestling decline meeting due to bring older, but there are plenty of others who I meet, on here and other sites. Bjj guys seem to be more interested in bjj as a sport, as opposed to a fetish, in my experience.
We are not all attracted to everyone...that's life. I will meet and wrestle almost anyone, but i cant guarantee it eill be erotic for me.
Badmoose (12)
10/10/2020 9:04 PMI think a vast majority of people who come to MF are doing so to explore a fetish they have in wrestling. I would argue that very few people are here seeking to grow and develop their jujitsu, that’s what the local bjj schools are for. So please don’t think folks are ageist Just because they don’t want to roll with you. It’s because they are here seeking something else and everyone has a right to determine who is and who is not their type.
Alecmusc (25)
10/11/2020 2:52 AM(In reply to this)
I have met many very good fighters here. Have fought with more than one black belt here. I agree with the additional interest most of us are looking for here but there are also great opportunities to meet and train with some great guys here.
Badmoose (12)
10/11/2020 3:58 AM(In reply to this)
I 100% agree with you. There are many exceptional jujitsu practitioners on this site. I am simply arguing that you cannot claim people are ageist on this site when they are here to satisfy a fetish.
KinksterTom (88 )
10/11/2020 10:28 AM(In reply to this)
I agree with Badmoose in this. One point is practicing BJJ and other sports where there is no place for discrimination against anyone (based on age or whatever). On the other hand, after so many years here and tens of guys I've met, I found out I want to meet guys because of my fetish and not because of training and "improving". For sports reason, I rather go to my club or roll with friends on our mats.
I've got so many offers from guys here that are 20+ years older than me and I always try to be as frank as possible in my replies to them. Sorry guys, but in case you are not a sixty years old bodybuilder in perfect form, probably I won't meet you because I'm mostly for fulfilling my fetish here.
No matter what, I think decency, friendliness and sincerity is important.
Stay safe, guys!
Alecmusc (25)
10/11/2020 7:10 AM(In reply to this)
Completely agree.
vicj81 (121 )
10/10/2020 3:52 PMI know I’ve had my *ss beat by senior that have spent years training. Be humble!
calwrestler (141)
10/24/2020 8:12 PM(In reply to this)
Good point! It's attraction and phys shape not age that matters to me
ATONMAN (233 )
10/10/2020 2:55 PMRight! Seniores could be great surprise
JOKING (26)
10/10/2020 2:51 PMGlad U said that.
Alecmusc (25)
10/10/2020 7:00 AMCompletely agree. Age should not be a factor for any one To drop a match request. Sometimes you may find some old bloke able to teach you a trick or two in this wonderful art. Don’t let prejudice take over and make you loose a great time on the mats. Also don’t drop a request from someone with a lower belt than you. Remember that you started as a white belt and some good folk helped you achieved what you’ve got. We can even meet at the dojo one day.
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
10/10/2020 8:16 PM(In reply to this)
Very true, remember the saying about the difference between a while belt and a black belt. A black belt is a white belt who never quit.
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
10/09/2020 5:28 AMAs a senior involved in BJJ when there is a reasonably good match as far as to being involved in BJJ, rolling, practicing techniques, not being more than about 25kg different in weight, etc it makes no sense to exclude someone as a practice partner solely due age. The BJJ schools are welcoming, shouldn't you be as welcoming? Yes, seniors are at higher risk for Covid-19 and that is a good reason why they may only want to practice with fewer around in a more private environment to minimize risk. . As was on the door at a BJJ school in Canton, Mi there was a sign "leave your ego at the door". let's add leave your ageism at the door as well. You are not at the county clerk's office getting a marriage license. Most in BJJ are not scorekeepers, they just want to learn technique and roll. It may come as a surprise to some but everyone ages, even the sponges that live to 11,000 years. Please cut us some slack, we can contribute to a good training session or roll. Please do not have an ego as high as Olympus Mons, we just want to be treated as equals and involved in BJJ. Thanks
legflexxxer (33 )
10/18/2020 10:22 PM(In reply to this)
Totally agree bud. I roll all ages from 18 to 60 at least. The old guys are sometimes more dangerous and skilled than the young ones!.
I'd deffo roll you mate
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
4/08/2022 11:55 AM(In reply to this)
It seems that those in other countries have more respect for differences in age than those in the USA
Badmoose (12)
10/10/2020 6:12 PM(In reply to this)
Are you referring to bjj schools in general or meeting guys to roll on Meetfighters?
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
10/10/2020 8:11 PM(In reply to this)
This is referring to meeting guys on meetfighters who are interested in BJJ
subwrestler81 (2)
10/22/2020 5:57 AM(In reply to this)
I roll with older people at my BJJ gym everyday and enjoy it. But when I go to a BJJ gym the primary purpose is to do BJJ. Meetfighters is basically a dating/hookup site for people into fighting. It’s totally different. I’m not looking to date or hook up with people who are much older than me and whom I’m not attracted to.
If you just want to roll why would you be looking for partners here? There are vastly more opportunities outside of this niche site.
BJJWrestlerLasVegas (12)
4/08/2022 6:52 PM(In reply to this)
There are several reasons that some may want to roll outside of the gym.
1) BJJ gyms are not cheap
2) Injuries limit the kind of rolling you can do
3) Due Covid want to limit interaction to a limited number of people
4) Cost of transportation
5) Availability of transportation
6) Poor physical shape
Batterysentinel (7)
4/09/2022 5:59 AM(In reply to this)
If you’re not in good enough shape/too injured for a gym then you shouldn’t be here either. You’re at a far greater risk of getting hurt. It’s not fair to your partner even if you’re willing to get hurt. Do you think they want to hurt someone even accidentally? Do you think they want the potential liability? If you’re not healthy enough for a BJJ Academy then you’re not healthy enough for this site either. It’s a harsh truth but necessary to accept.
If all local gyms are unaffordable then either you have more important issues like earning more money. If need be you can save up and go for a year after you have the capital required. There are often cheap options too. I used to travel 1-2 hrs to train. You gotta plan.