Upon the conclusion of relevant research, I have compiled a list for your review of the steps necessary to meet a wrestler and start a potential friendship.

1. The wrestler must be out of state. Even if you eventually meet them in your state, it must start with the belief that you and this person will have to travel to meet. This is true 99% of the time.
2. If possible, go for the other 1%.
3. Take an interest in this person. You'd be surprised at how fun and exciting people are outside of wrestling. Invite them to a dinner. Have a drink or two or ten.
4. Be persistent. After all, squeaky wheels get the grease eventually. They will eventually run out of things to be busy with and respond. Or not. But hope, right? Right.

Congratulations if you've made it to this point, but the war is far from over, friends. Keep calm, and carry on with these instructions.

1. Respond. When your potential new wrestling victim... erm.... friend... writes back, respond with enthusiasm.
2. Pick a pub. Beer and food are good combinations.
3. Reveal your stalker side. Remember when I mentioned taking an interest in the person? That is serious work. Meet their friends. Meet their lovers. Find them on facebook. Yes, I managed to do all of this. Better yet, I did it accidentally. This will open new avenues of conversation, most of which will start with "How did you even know ____?"
4. Mention your food allergies. This will lead to fun conversation. Very fun. Afterward, you will manage to have an inside joke that would be mortifying to almost anyone.
5. Laugh a lot and often. If you're not laughing with this person, you may not long be friends.
6. Ask questions. You probably know the answer from your extensive studies, but just do it. You might learn something anyway :P
7. Ask about the whole wrestling thing. Likes, dislikes, experiences. Find out what you can and share what you can. By this point, you've been talking for hours, so more talking can't hurt. Bonus points for segue and pondering about people you know in common.

Congrats. You should have a new friend and a potential appointment for ultimate destruction.... erm... wrestling in the near future.

After visiting the Staten Island crew, I headed to catch a late train, ferry, and two buses to New Hampshire where I got to meet up with Rick from global.

This was to be the first match I had and a test of what I may or may not have learned between youtubing and laughing way too much and so many inside jokes (hiyah! hiiiiyah!).

After arriving in the evening, I talked with Rick and got a tour of the house. We ended the night with ice cream and the Kingsmen movie which was great. I slept and woke up the next day for a bit of breakfast. After I took time to write a few thoughts, it was mat time. Rick and I headed down the mat and he walked me through how to start collegiate style. I saw the wrestling shoes he wore and wanted to try on a pair. He had a spare, so he let me borrow them. These shoes are national treasures. They just feel comfortable. I need like three pair.

After showing me what the top and bottom positions were, we rolled for a bit where I learned:

1. I do better when I start from the bottom position, but the top works just as well (I'll be watching comments for jokes on this, so don't disappoint me).
2. I do really well defending on instinct.
3. I handle people above my size better than I thought, but size can make certain things very challenging.

To be fair to Rick, he was at about 10% capacity, but considering he outweighed me by about 130 lbs. and had years worth of experience, the handicap made things about even: he did manage to get in two cradles and a headlock for a submission, after all.

We watched another movie (Looper), then I made dinner. After that, we had a more light-hearted set of skirmishes and I won those, so I took a shower and we wrapped up the night. I even managed to get a pair of wrestling boots out of the affair like these:

Allow me to say I'm excited about this.

The next morning, I got on a bus back to New York where I am now hanging out with my grandparents and loving every minute. From there, who knows what other wrestling things will happen!

As I imagined, some people are not able to meet up in spite of their wishing very much to be able to and that is fine as I have backup plans for my backup plans. I'll be in the city today. Maybe I'll get to have a bit of fun yet before my vacation takes me back to GA to relax and reflect.

Happy Lion is happy. RAWRRRR >:3

Enjoy the humor inherent in the title.

That said, my flight to NY was without incident. After taking a series of buses and trains, I then needed to take an additional ferry to Staten Island where I had the pleasure of meeting Nick, Ky, Anthony, and John.

Initially, I was nervous about wrestling with other people as Nick had the normal crew at the house, but, after a lot of talking and laughter, I got over that real quick. I changed and got into a singlet and from there we talked through tactics, watched videos, and I learned a few things to include a proper armbar. Nick was hilarious and focused and patient which is all very good for the way I learn. As we went to dinner a bit later, Anthony poked fun at my being a bit distracted while learning techniques. If he reads this, I hope he reads the next entry because I got to apply what I learned the next day to great effect.

Nick did one of the best things for me in terms of wrestling with me which was just to attack me and have me defend myself. It's one of those simple ways to instantly break me out of my shell and test what I know. He's really good and seeing how people learn things and just adapting in that way. Anthony was a constantly stream of hilarity and giggles. John was a ball of energy and I hope to wrestle him one day. My sighting of Ky was scant, but I hope to wrestle with him one day, too.

They're all just fantastic people and I'm glad I met them.

I wasn't sure if I deserved to write a past opponent thing about these guys as this was more educational than not, but Nick kind of just answered that whole thing for me.

Lovely times. ^_~*

The happy lion is happy.

So I'm shaving, showering, and heading out of the door in mere hours to be in New York for a whole week. Needless to say, I'm rather excited about the change of pace and, of course, to see all of you.

I want to try to get to know some of you while I'm out there, but considering how meetups work, I've come up with a number of contingency activities for fun. That said, I am leaving plenty of time open every day for impromptu meetups.

If you want to meet up and say hi while I'm in the area, hit me up. Otherwise, see you on the other side of the flight!

It's been a while since the last time I was here, so I thought I'd pop in with some stuff.

OBSERVATIONS

1. Local wrestling is nearly impossible for the first few years. I have many thoughts on why, but nevermind that for now. Seriously, I've wrestled 4 people (love you, guys) since being a member here. 2 of them were from out-of-state and all of them weren't in my city.
2. I've had more success in coordinating matches with people out of my state as a result of the previous point.
3. Meetups require a ton of planning. A ton.
4. I don't think there is a specific definition for speedo. I thought this was a brand, but it seems to be a clothing item apart from that.
5. Most people that I talk to find themselves at a loss when I step outside of wrestling. That said, I enjoy the carnage. The fact is, I plan on making friends with the people I wrestle with. That is always the intent. Out of the people I wrestle with, there has been one I don't keep up with.

GEAR

OTHER

Also, I want to be more involved in the creative side of the wrestling community. Hopefully, I'll be able to channel that with my web design skills somehow.

Finally, I have accounts in a few places now:

• Globalfight
• Realgng
• Bearhugger.net
• Here (well, duh)

Of these places, this seems to be the place that I will probably call home for like ever. Each of these other places have their strengths, but in terms of actually communicating with people, this place is better than most. I can elaborate, but let's just say I like it here more than anywhere right now.

Now let me work on some mockups and all that and see if I can make something good from here.

Just a couple of reminders about some things that seem to have escaped people in terms of just simple manners.

I. I have issues with people when they are untruthful. Especially when it comes to profile info.
I don't have a way to see you or even get to know you aside from your profile information. The foundation of everything I will end up learning about you starts there. That said, I - along with a few others - will be upset with you if you display things that are patently false.

By patently false, I mean things like (a) pictures that are years old, (b) inaccurate height and weight info, and (c) inaccurate location info. Honestly, considering how wide and varied the interests of people are in this scene, lying about anything to get someone to talk to you is just unreasonable.

Mind you, I'll never be unpleasant about it, because I'm not unpleasant. Others might be. I'll simply note what happened and fade with the morning mist because the beauty of being an adult is that you can choose to leave situations without making a big fuss about it. That said, fellas, please...

II. I'm not mean.
Seriously, I'm not and I never will be. I don't like putting people in super painful anything and destroying them and humiliating them. I am here for fun, for fun, for, fun. Now rather than rant, I will share a story.

A couple of days ago, someone popped up on chat and complemented me on my profile picture (thank you) and my tattoo (I like it too, it's meaningful to me). Then they asked if I have ever put someone in headscissors (I have and it was fun for both people involved because that's how I roll).

From here, things got weird. Was it painful? Did I humiliate them by making them suck me off? Would I scissor someone until they passed out? My thoughts on each, mostly unspoken, were:

(a) No, it wasn't painful. The person I was wrestling with (and most people I imagine) didn't want to deal with anything especially painful. Like me, they were having fun. I know there is a certain scene of people that really get into the painful part of things, but that's not my camp in spite of my tolerance for pain.

(b) Did I humiliate them by making them suck me off? One, that's reserved space. Very reserved. I'm talking about secrets not even the government knows. Two, why are we humiliating people again? I get that this sport of ours is aggressive and that there are elements of domination in it and so on, but for crying out loud. I'll say this again: I am here for fun. Always. I reserve pain and such for enemies. If I make enemies here and we fight, I will be trying to stop you from hurting me. Not playing around. Smh.

(c) Depriving people of oxygen can be fun in moderate amounts with extreme respect and proper understanding and rapport between two people. That said, as a general rule, I don't do that. Golden rule and whatever. Personally, unless I have a deep trust with someone, the answer would be a nearly automatic hell no.

Things like the above make me wonder if I'm made for wrestling with most people.

After several months of talking back and forth, the planets and stars aligned, allowing us to meet in a nearby city. The place was Clemson, SC.

The texts had been more frequent that week, but on the day of the meetup, they were even more frequent. Locations. Whereabouts. Delays. "I'm in the shower." "I'm on the road."

As I made my way up, the drive was scenic with a beautiful sunset and dramatic cloudscape. I arrived at the hotel about an hour and a half later and let Alan know that I had arrived. Previous to my arrival, he had a number of matches set up that ended up being cancelled. Being that I was the first match that hadn't cancelled, he was ecstatic and it showed.

If I had to describe it, I would say he was excited and nervous - somewhere between Christmas and his 21st birthday. His greeting was enthusiastic and we walked inside. As we headed to the room, we talked about what he was doing in the area and why he was there.

When we arrived at the room, I sat down for a whole two minutes before he nearly ripped my shirt off. Apparently it had been years since he had last wrestled and so he was a bit more than eager to finally get back into the swing of things. I obliged with a chuckle.

Alan had spoken extensively about scissoring and how much he enjoyed giving and receiving them, so I asked him to teach me how to do them properly. After taking a few moments to learn, we went into hours of tumbling and grappling and, eventually, scissoring.

I'm not in a dominant position normally and I am bad at finishers when I do get the dominant position. I got plenty of practice with both of those concepts during this match. Alan was certainly skilled and that came through...

...but it didn't stop me. :)

There was laughter and taunting along with water and breaks in-between. He noted that I wrestled with a smile and that he didn't know how strong I was. It seems that I was full of pleasant surprises that night, but then again, that night was full of pleasant surprises for me as well.

We're already planning our next match. Of course, the best parts of this match are things that are unsaid. Then again, that is how every match works; they are all unique in their experience and the magic that makes them work when they do is something that only the people involved can understand.

In sum: I have the world champ for a pet and he enjoys that arrangement. ^_^

This year has brought good things my way for sure. I wonder what is next. It needs to include Alan for sure.

"I'm on Oconee Street."

Mind you, the story with Slim doesn't necessarily start here, but it's the nearest to this moment. We had met on a different website and started chatting there. From that point, it was chats and texts until Friday of this past week. That would be two days ago.

We were trying to make arrangements - do I go there or do we stay here/if here, then where - as everyone often does. Logistics can be the devil at times, but ultimately I was fine with it and, more than that, financially prepared for it.

We decided on Saturday as a meeting day and that the place would happen later. Cool. Then Saturday rolls around and things come up as they often do. Things had to be rescheduled and I made plans with another friend or two in the meantime. This turned out for my benefit, I was dead tired and went to bed at 8:30 for the night.

Then comes today and we're back to line one. I wonder what they will look like. I wonder if they will respect rules and limits and/or scare me. Then they arrive in my city and I guide them to my address. It turns out that the minor concerns I may have had were non-concerns even with multiple megapixels of upgrade.

They are nervous, I am not. We talk for a while about everything and I ask them to teach me things. We start to roll and instincts take over. Mostly in defense. I'm offensively-clueless. We roll for a while, take a break, roll for a while, take a break, roll for a while.

In between we talk about things like work, family and friends. I offer water. We laugh and comment on the almost heavenly weather today. Good energy all around. We roll, he nearly pins me. I nearly pin him. We are respectful and playful. He's strong and I have grown. I can tell.

Afterward, I am thinking we will head to a pub and chat before he heads home. I mentioned writing this to him and he smiled.

"I think I might write some, too. You've inspired me."

Always a good thing if you ask me.

I've never considered myself a dominant type by any means, but I am also not submissive.

It is a weird middle ground to be in. Especially when I'm asked about things like being a jobber or not. I suppose i am, but then I have moments where I am not. Does that mean I'm a heel? No, but I'm not in jobber mode, either.

Like many other areas of my life, there is the constant concept of cusp or being between and not solidly planted in one place or another.

For instance, I have recently acquired a pet. I enjoy him a lot. That said, I am not demanding or especially aggressive toward my pet; I don't believe that is how control and authority work. At the same time, even though I am gentle with my pet and kind, I am not the pet and my pet is not the master.

I think dominance works like that. Some things require action to establish, but in many ways, dominance can be made clear long before any action is taken.

"Have you had any good matches lately?"

It would be awesome if this answer were "yes" more often, but it isn't. I'm more of an analytical mind, so I like to understand why things are as they are and work as they work. This ended up with some funny situations.

SCENARIO 1: "Hello, Mr. Bond"

There's a lot of things I'm willing to be wild about, but every kid knows about "stranger danger". The fact is that a meetup here is a physical thing and when I am meeting up with a person from this site, that I have never met before, where will have to travel a distance to meet each other and probably alone, there is no margin for mistrust, so I don't bother with it.

For the reasons, above, I wouldn't ever. I salute you, Mr. Bond, but if we are going to lock up, trust is a must. End of.

SCENARIO 2: Vaporized

SCENARIO 3: "Somewhere over the rainbow"

I swear it's the only time I ever find myself frustrated by not owning a car. I suppose planning could easily get around any transit issue, but then we go back to SCENARIO 2.

SCENARIO 4: You scare me

A lot of this stuff doesn't seem to matter even in terms of distance. There are four people in my city and hundreds - literal hundreds - within 60 miles of me and of those hundreds (plus four), I have met *one* from that radius and one from someone that actually lives several hundred miles away.

I don't even know.

I want to figure out a way to make this stuff happen more often, but until then, you can deal with my humorous writing about my frustrations because it doesn't and the gear I'm grabbing.

Oh wait, I didn't mention that, did I?

GRINDING GEARS (because I like creative titles and innuendo)

This month, I bought my first singlet. I plan on buying another one soon since I have a dash of extra cash on me. It should be equally fun and enjoyable to try on. I need to wear it more to break it in, but so far, it feels great when I wear the one I bought and I'm curious about what I'll look like when I get the other.

They are both solid servings of "Get yourself in shape, son", so the encouragement is nice.

.
.
.

AND ONWARD.

One more thing

Thanks for putting things I can enjoy in my inbox from suggestions on what to buy to just encouragement to hang in there until we can meet up, I enjoy all of the messages I get and try to reply to all of them when I can. At least one of you [*cough* Scott *cough*] have moved out of just "hey we want to wrestle" to being more akin to friends and I'm enjoying every minute of that.

Keep it up.

Also, if you are writing me after reading this whether directly or via comment: (1) thank you, too. It's good to know that someone reads this stuff. It's long. (2) I like feedback, so write all you want to.

Take care, guys.